May

Hello everyone,

So once a month it is! Not so bad. It's not like I am keeping anything bottled in. May has been pretty interesting though. I get along better with Mike. We are room mates so to speak, and we even had like a 4-5 day spurt where we missed each other a whole lot. Or maybe just the intimacy we had? Either way it ended, he backed away again and I have been sick so we just are again. One day at a time is totally true! Some days I miss him and others are very easy to deal with. I still get pretty lonely, but not enough to cry over! It's pretty peaceful at home and I like it that way. The only thing that bothers me a bit is that I have no control over what will happen, so I can't plan. I love to plan! I want to know if I am staying where I am at or if I have to move... but I don't and I have to be ok with it. I am not going to push for empty promises or fake answers to questions. One day at a time is good enough for me.

On the subject of Anne...whatever. The only maturity she shows is in her appearance. I can honestly say I have never dealt with anyone so childish in my life. It's always me me me with her and I don't want to give that kind of energy anymore. Don't want to make plans with her anymore or even bother to exert so much energy into her wishy washy problems. If she fixes them, good for her. If not, not my problem anymore. She loses friends alot and I can see why. I am not ending our "strange friendship" but I am not investing nearly what I used to into it anymore.

My kids are great! They are happy bouncy kids and that makes me feel that they way we are handling our situation is working. As long as the boys don't get affected in a negative way, I am totally ok with the way we do this. Even if no one agrees with me. They see us happy and happy with them. They get to see mom and dad every day for now and I couldn't ask for more. We shall see what the future holds....I pray that Mike stays this committed to his kids when he finally breaks free from us.

I was in the hospital last week for my Lupus. I had a bad reaction to a pain medication they gave me and my eyes are bloodshot! I look like a demon on Halloween. I doesn't hurt, but it looks like it does! Hence, me staying away from people cuz I think I will scare them.

Well that's it for me for now... either than that, today is a good day and I want to go out and run a muck! Have a great Holiday!