Ugh! It makes me mad that he acts like I am his charity! I don't need him, I don't want to want him anymore! Of course I want to move on...who doesn't! It just drives me nuts to hear from people that he can't stand it here or he feels like he needs to get out of here. Well then, by all means leave! He just drives me absolutely nuts. I don't get it. It's too much to be married, too much to be special, too much to be just friends. Hell, I'm sure he'd be happy never seeing me again. But what pisses me off is that he is a selfish immature boy! Me me me me is all he is about. When he wants me he is nice and when he doesn't, he couldn't push me farther away. I am really upset about how he takes advantage of certain aspects of our relationship. Yet he claims to want to work this out. I am tired and I pray I can handle everything this way from now on. I need this courage to get through this. But along with it come anger, I am angry at him for being so ... so ...stupid! Yes stupid, who would throw so much away to just be selfish?
Well, nowadays, probably everyone. No one thinks about self sacrifice and what it's worth in the end. No one, the whole world today is all about them selves and how they can be happier, well, how happy can you be if you haven't felt sadness, we all need discipline, responsiblity, sacrifice, these things make us decent human beings... So screw you Michael and your attitude towards me.....whew, that felt good.
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