White Flags...

Life is too short on BS! Yet, it seems like that is what is occupying most of my life. I really am learning not to show that I care, so that people think I don't care so they can move on in their own ways and stop causing me drama. I just want to be happy with my home and kids and I am scared that I won't be able to afford it. I want to have my own home and live my own life for me... So, here it is. I am seriously considering moving me and the kids to Miami or New York. In New York, I have my family that will watch the boys while I work, but money would be tight there. In Miami, I have a grandmother that would watch them, and friends that I haven't seen in years! So I think that I am going to talk to the people I need to. I really think I am going to make this happen. You only get one life to be happy right? You only get one chance...I am going to stop caring about Michael and start moving on with my own life. I have been thinking about him and his happiness for so long and as everyday goes by, his animosity towards me is growing greater and greater. I need to stop letting his actions hurt me because that is all I get and in turn I end up doing the same. I need to move on before he hates me...or I hate him. He doesn't want me anymore and it's time I let him live life without me. Tony said to stop helping him and stop being nice if he isn't. He told me to be a bitch if I have to. I won't do that because I look at him and I want to cry, but I am going to be stronger... I have to... One day at a time and before you know it, I will have something else to right about besides Michael... I look forward to that day. That is my goal.